1. Rich Man's Burden
  2. Beauty's Soliloquy
  3. Do You Know The Way to Veyrier
  4. La Breeda Loca


I HATE LEXAPRO
(sung to the tune of "I Love Rock n' Roll" by J. Hooker/A. Merrill)

She saw it there in the insurance book
One of three meds covered by the HMO crooks
She said give it a try
The latest SSRI
An' I couldn't tell you why
But it had me, yeah me, cryin'

I hate Lexapro
So call another scrip to the drugstore, baby
I hate Lexapro
So come an' find a different med for me

The first time I took it I slept all day
That don't matter, she said
Side effects go away
Said take it again, so I did an' then
Next I was breaking down
It wasn't me, not me
Next I was breaking down
And now it's me, yeah me, singin'

I hate Lexapro
So call a different scrip to the drugstore, baby
I hate Lexapro
So come an' find another med for me

Can I please have a different pill, this one's keepin' me ill
Gotta be movin' on
Cause I hate this same old song
Yeah me, cryin'

I hate Lexapro
So call another scrip to the drugstore, baby
I hate Lexapro
So come an' find a better med for me

 

 

Welcome to Thiruvananthapuram
To the tune of "Hotel California" by The Eagles

On a tropical runway, hot wind in my hair
Warm smell of coconuts, rising up through the air
Up ahead on the sidewalk, I saw a pile of trash
Auto-rickshaws and Ambassadors
Cruisin' for a crash

Eating Malabar curry
I heard the temple bell
And I was thinking to myself
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
Bitten by the mosquitoes, smitten by the chow,
Starving kittens on the patio
Thought I heard them meow:

Welcome to Thiruvananthapuram
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely taste
Plenty of room in Thiruvananthapuram
Any time of year, you're invited here

English language so twisted, we can't understand
Everybody speaks Malayalam in this southern land
Some want foreign investment, others call for a strike
Break the curfew after midnight and find your head on a spike

So I called on a guru, 'please help me unwind'
He said, 'put your feet up onto your knees and twist around your spine'
And still my clients are calling from overseas
Air pollution choking up my lungs, I can barely wheeze:

Welcome to Thiruvananthapuram
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely taste
We're livin' it up in Thiruvananthapuram
What a nice surprise, what your money buys

Geckos on the ceiling
Microbes in the ice
I think, 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
In our swanky apartment, we’re enjoying the view
For a hundred fifty bucks a month, what else can we do?

Can't afford to leave here
Can't afford to stay
Sanity's unraveling
with every passing day
'Relax,' said the guru
As I started to cough
The Wheel of Karma only lets you die
You can never get off!

 

Thank Heaven for Little Hacks
(based on Thank Heaven for Little Girls by Lerner & Loewe, from Gigi)

Each time I see a little hack of
someone else's software
I can't resist a joyous urge to smile and say

Thank heaven for little hacks
For little hacks get bigger every day
Thank heaven for little hacks
They pay off in the most delightful way

Those lines of code so helpless and appealing
One day will crash and send me cashing in for healing

Thank heaven for little hacks
Thank heaven for them all
No matter where no matter who
For without them, what would programmers do

Thank heaven, thank heaven
Thank heaven for little hacks

 

 

I Write The Code
Based on "I Write the Songs" by Bruce Johnston (& popularized by Barry Manilow) http://www.lyricsmansion.com/result.php?number=31588

I've been a geek forever, and I wrote the very first code

I put the ones and the zeroes together
I am Windows and I write the code

I write the code that runs on your PC
I write the code that is proprietary
I write the code that makes the young girls cry
I write the code, I write the code

My code lies deep within you
And I've got my own place in your soul
Now, when I look out through your screen
I'm young again, even though I'm DOS

I write the code that makes the system freeze
I write the code that brings you to your knees
I write the code that makes the users cry
I write the code, I write the code

Oh my system makes you dance
Boot up and take a chance
And I wrote some built-in spyware so you can't move
Terror fills your heart
Well, that's a real fine place to start
It's from me it's for you
It's from you, it's for me
It's a worldwide catastrophe

I write the code that makes the server crash
I write the code for love and lots of cash
I write the code that makes the clients cry
I write the code, I write the code

I write the code that keeps you up all night
I write what other coders have to re-write
I write the code that makes the whole world cry
I write the code I write the code

I am Windows, and I write the code

 

 

The Rich Man's Burden
by Nina Paley

Take up the Rich Man's burden--
Send forth the best ye breed
To sell your captives products
regardless of their need;
Go wait, in heavy harness,
on bosses far away--
So that your corporate masters
can save on workers' pay.

Take up the Rich Man's burden--
In patience to disguise,
To veil the threat of terror
With media that lies
By double-speak and symbol,
To serve your Bosses' gain,
To seek your Masters' profit
And cause your captives pain.

Take up the Rich Man's burden--
The savage Wars of Peace--
Kill, maim, explode, and torture,
to make the violence cease;
And when your goal is nearest
(the growth of markets sought)
Watch unemployed consumers
bring all your hopes to naught.

Take up the Rich Man's burden--
No iron rule of kings,
But rule of Corporations
that Globalism brings.
Their ports ye shall not enter,
Their rugs ye shall not tread,
Go, serve them for your living,
Go, serve them 'til you're dead.

Take up the Rich Man's burden,
and reap his old reward--
Employment for the boring,
TV shows for the bored--
The cry of other nations,
on whom you force your plight
Of quiet desperation
With military might.

Take up the Rich Man's burden--
Ye dare not hope for more--
Don't challenge ye the system
That churns for greed and war.
By all ye will or whisper,
By all ye leave or do,
Stay silent, sullen peoples,
You've got your jobs to do.

Take up the Rich Man's burden!
Do not think for yourself!
Obey the Bosses' orders--
Half devil and half elf!
Work for the Rich Man's profit
Die for the Rich Man's war;
Take up the Rich Man's Burden
And stay forever poor.

For Rudyard Kipling's original "White Man's Burden,"
go to http://www.boondocksnet.com/kipling/kipling.html

 

Beauty's Soliloquy
by Nina Paley (with apologies to Will Shakespeare)

CERN, August 200

a poem for all you particle physicists out there....

To be, or anti-be: that is the question:
Whether 't is nobler in theory to suffer
The violation of charge conjugation,
Or to reflect against a sea of parity, And by opposing violate it?
To C: to P: No more; and by CP to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That matter is heir to,--'t is a transformation
Devoutly to be wish'd.
To C, to P; To CP:
perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub:
For in CP of theory dreams may come,
What we accelerate through this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so short life;
For what would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The detector's friction, the lepton's leak,
The pangs of despised interactions, the hadron's decay,
The insolence of weak force and the spins
That patient merit of the unsymmetric takes,
When the quark might its quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would accuracy 1.0066 bear,
To grunt and sweat through a weary beam,
But that the dread of something after colliding,
The undiscover'd vertex from whose bang
No particle returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus data does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pit and momentum
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.

Do You Know the Way to Veyrier?

Music: Burt Bacharach

Words: Nina Paley

 

Do you know the way to Veyrier?
I've been away so long, I might go wrong and lose my way.
Do you know the way to Veyrier?
I'm going back to find some peace of mind in Veyrier.

The USA's a great big freeway;
drive to work and work to drive a car.
Self-employment won't take you very far,
living in the Land of Liberty...
And all the folks who say they're free
are slaves to working and TeeVee.

You can really breathe in Veyrier.
They've got a little space, there'll be a place where we can stay.
Wasn't born or raised in Veyrier
maybe I'll emmigrate, because I hate the USA.

Socialism is a magnet,
I like public healthcare and the train.
US social policies are insane.
People dying on the street each day...
And if you're rich you get your way,
but I'm not rich, so I can't stay.

I've got family in Veyrier....

I can't wait to be in Veyrier....

Parlez-vous Francias in Veyrier?......

La Breeda Loca

(to the tune of the pop hit "la Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin)

She's into superstition
Baby clothes and plush-toy dolls
I felt a premonition
That that girl would make me fall
She's into new sensation
Belly kicks and pants too tight
She's got a new addiction
Breastfeeding every night

She made me take my clothes off
And go breedin' in the bed
She made me live the boring life
And join the living dead
'Cause I didn't use my head

Upside inside out
We're livin' la Breeda loca
She pushed that crotchfruit out
We're livin' la Breeda loca
She craves ice cream and
Pickles and Almond Roca
This will wear me out
We're livin' la Breeda loca
Livin' la Breeda loca.

Woke up in the suburbs
With job over the hill
She took my sperm and took my money
When she stopped taking the pill

We don't have a life now
Baby's like a ball and chain
Once you get an ear of her
you'll never be the same
She's driven us insane

Upside inside out
We're livin' la Breeda loca
She screams and barfs and cries
We're livin' la Breeda loca
We're so far in debt
Our bank acount is a joke-a
Bought those breeder lies
Now we're livin' la Breeda loca
Livin' la Breeda loca

She made me take my clothes off
And go breeding in the bed
I should've gotten my thing snipped
But I was a jerk instead
Now I wish that I were dead

Upside inside out
I'm livin' la Breeda loca
Be ir-re-spon-si-ble
And you'll be a Breeda loca
Get vasectomized
Before you go doin' the poke-a
Or you'll end up like me
Just livin' la Breeda loca
Livin' la Breeda loca
Livin' la Breeda loca

 

--Nina Paley, 10-13-'00

updated 12-05

 

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